The Fault in Our Mankind: A Teenage Existential Crisis

thoughts formed sometimes between a heat stroke and hallucination but nevertheless semi-rational unorganized thoughts

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I found myself spending a lot of time being a couch potato this summer, despite making a decent effort at doing community service, I still found myself feeling like a mere piece of dust that is simply wasting earth’s time and its resources.

With climate change, the earth is changing rapidly, animals are going into extinction, and individuals in certain countries doesn’t even get the basic human rights that the western world do and yet I continue to pay little attention to important causes that actually need my help. Instead, I waste my precious energy on things that don’t genuinely matter like pop culture icons that are only bad role models for children and music that doesn’t help me grow as a person. I found that I have become this type of followers for the people in an attempt to fit in. There wasn’t a plan to step outside the box to start the change myself. We are so often caught up in this culture and attitude where we continue to believe one person can not make a difference in the world. Instead, we simply sit at home and hashtag our asses off on social media acting like we care, when in reality it is only this illusion of togetherness that is forming rather than actual change. No one is going out there and doing work, and no one is going to start because of one like on Facebook.

The earth is so diverse, composing of many individuals of different race, of different class, of different beliefs, and often times these categories overlap. I find it so disappointing that I am always so discontent with what I have and wishes for more materialistic thing while there are children out there in the world living below the poverty line and still be so content with merely a simple education. Would this be considered #firstworldproblem?

I mean, here I am, merely impressed with the laptop my eyes run over multiple times per second, with a full stomach, and an education that will lead me to independent survival one day. While on the other hand, on the other side of the world, kids continue to keep a wide smile on their face just for being able to live another day. I guess, as always, society is the one to blame, for this intense consumerism and materialism. But who are the people who created this society? Who are the one that live in it? Who are the one that never took any genuine measures to stop its hazardous ways?

We are created to exist, to leave this world in a better state than we found it. We are merely just souls struggling to survive a lifetime, which is probably less than 1/100th of a millisecond in a unit called infinity. Why do we have to push others down only so we can live better? Why are we automatically sorted into different levels in this pyramid of mankind not by our abilities but by our blood and where we are born into? Yes, there’s always the answer that this division is only caused by periods of trials, failures, the need to strive, and some other incoherent mumbling shit about darwinism, revolution, and supremacy along the way, but at what cause? Was it genuinely worth it to destroy the homes of others, the hearts of others, the minds of others, the souls of others, for your own values and needs? Are your own values and needs even that important?

To put it simply, we are self-absorbed (be sure to count how many times I is used in this writing), and that’s a nice way to put it. I find myself being obsessed with posts on my social media, the grades on a quiz that doesn’t matter by the end of the semester, a small flaw on my light blue shirt that no one will ever notice, but I do.  We are so wrapped up in everything we see in ourselves, whether good or bad, that we often forget to help care about someone else a little more.

When I leave this world, this is not how I want to be remembered. I will never want my legacy to be whether if I got into UC Berkeley, how many Instagram followers I will have, if I got the new iPhone model, no one is going to remember me. And the mark on the world I’ve spent my whole life carving will only be washed away like a foot print on the sand by the big tsunami. But long story short, what we do in our lifetime and how we see the everything around us genuinely matters. Even if in your lifetime, you don’t end up having the chance to stop ISIS or start a revolution, the smallest efforts help. Whether if it’s respecting a religion and its system of beliefs, or educate yourself on mankind’s damages to the environment and take every possible action to prevent further harm, what you do matters.

Let’s be honest, at the end of the day, this is only the writing of pretentious hypocrisy. And you’ve wasted time reading through merely incoherent bullshit. The second this is sent out into the world, my day, and most likely my life, will resume in its uselessness. This is my existential crisis statement and everything I hate about what we consider our priorities. Think about it?

All the love.

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